What do I know?

So, I opened this blog around 3 years ago, and back then I had no idea what I’m talking about. I was in my early twenties and I thought about sex as I saw it, not as I knew it. I wrote anything that occurred to my mind, I had no idea that my mind wasn’t aware of what’s going on.

I wrote and rambled as much as I wanted, because for me, writing is better than holding thoughts within. I like writing and letting go of thought pressure. I know this doesn’t sound logical, but I wrote about sex without knowing much about it. I was young, inexperienced and ready for adventures.

At some point, a man came to me and asked me if I can write in a sex magazine. At that point I had no idea what to do. I thought to myself, what should I write about, they’re all probably so experienced that I will just make a fool out of myself. I contributed to the magazine and I can’t tell if I did a good job back then, but I wrote what I felt, what I knew and what I wanted.

After a while I was encouraged by the same man who asked me to contribute in the sex magazine to start my own magazine/site/blog about sex, and there I had to be frank with him that I didn’t have enough experience to actually talk about sex like he thought I should. He said that doesn’t matter, as long as what I say is honest and comes fro my own self and experience, and besides, why should one be experienced to talk about a certain field? He said that a virgin can have as much to say as a prostitute – and that worked fine.

I’m still not a professional, and after all these years of more experience, discussions, and ramblings, I can write anything.

It has been a year and a half since I opened Kiss Kaleidos, and even though it’s not as popular or as successful, I feel proud of myself that I opened it anyway.

 

Subjects and objects

It has been a while since I last posted anything here, and for that I apologize.

I would like to share this video, today, even though it has been on the internet for several months. It is a call for taking action, for actual women liberation.

In every single society in the world men are sexual subjects and women are always and forever sexual objects. You can argue you with me on that, but take a look around you and check for yourself. Things will never change because men (most men) will never stop seeing girls as objects. Objectifying women is natural for men, and I don’t suppose there is a possibility for a change? or I can be wrong.

 

All men know, only few can please

how-to-feng-shui-romance.WidePlayerPorn has a great impact on what men think and how they sexually act. When it comes to sexual intercourse a lot of men think that fucking is what they need to do. And they all can fuck, that’s a fact. The question is, can they please a woman?

A friend of mine once told me that she can never reach an orgasm with penetrative sex alone, she needs to do something about it, and some times she has to use a vibrator.

It is true that some women can reach an orgasm with their penetration alone (basically if they’re on top). But 70% of women cannot reach a climax depending on penetrative sex (that’s what I’ve read/heard anyway).

A lot of men aren’t really aware of that fact, they think they can just fuck and if their penis is big enough then there’s no reason why the woman/girl they’re “fucking” won’t have an orgasm. “She orgasmed 5 times. My dick is big.” One big dickhead says. (sorry for the ‘dickhead’ term). Is that what a lot of guys think? that it only needs a dick to reach the top?

Women can have an amazing orgasm, without anything going inside their vaginas. There are so many ways to please a woman, but no, men can only think of one way.
Basically, all of them know how to fuck, they can do that. But only few, and very few, know how to  please women.

The thing that happens later on, some women have awful first experience with men, and they keep on doing the same mistake with the wrong men, thinking that’s the way it should be done. Until, they meet someone who can give the pure pleasure they have been looking for, and they don’t even have the sense to appreciate it.

Tragic.

Porn for her

Originally posted on Kiss Kaleidos:

woman-watching-pornYes, women watch porn too.

We like our porn hard and sexyWe watch it secretly, in bed or while working or studying.

We like it hot and loud

we, women watch porn too…

we look for fantasies
fantasies we can’t find in real world..
because the real world had lost its sense of romance.

We like passion and love

we like it hard

harder than life

We , women, watch porn too….

—-

art.women.and.porn.oI have to admit that I watch porn too, I am a girl, and I find porn to be exciting, hot and passionate. Of course, not all porn are sexy, some of them are stupid and disgusting, but there are others that I can simply enjoy. And I shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Just because I don’t have the perfect sexual life doesn’t  mean we can simply sit aside and keep complaining. Watching porn can be healthy.

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Oral sex

A lot of people might agree that oral sex is the best kind of sex, and a lot of people tend to really feel awkward about the idea that I don’t do oral sex. As a lot of people might know, I’m not very experienced when it comes to sexuality. I was intimate with guys few times  (some of these times weren’t times/experiences I’d like to remember), but I’ve never had oral sex and I never actually wanted to have oral sex, in a sense of giving.

I thought about it, and even though I might consider giving in the future, but it won’t be because I want to do what other people do, or because my “future partner” would want that very much, and would enjoy it, but because it is an intimate act, a very intimate act dare think, and it needs more than simple intimacy, it needs a lot of comfort, intimacy, love, trust and more.

So for those who think it’s just a sexual act, okay, fine, it can be simple and normal, I think it needs a lot than just sex. That’s why I think sexual intercourse (penetrative sex) should come before the oral sex, and not the other way around. Or in Baseball language: that penetrative sex should be 3rd base not 4th base.

what do you think?

 

Kiss Kaleidos

TI’m proud to say that a friend and I have opened a blog called Kiss Kaleidos for erotic writing. I would be honored to see people joining in as contributors. Surely you can write anonymously, about anything erotic and sexual.

Erotic writings can include fantasies, confessions, stories (both fiction and non-fiction), tips, health, issues, questions, opinion, and many more.

Please visit here the blog here http://kisskaleidos.wordpress.com/ and let me know if you’re interested, you can send me an e-mail or contact me, or leave a comment here.

 

Sexually educated

“Don’t you pay attention in sex education class” I read this comment on some of the Questions and answers topics on the internet. I see a lot of people asking on the internet about sexuality. I am one of them, I don’t really ask, I just ask Google and I’m directed to the answers of the questions that many people ask.

sex-education1I can’t say I’m sexually uneducated, for I am taught about some basic elements of sexuality, mainly in biology classes (that I stopped taking ever since 9th grade). We had few sexual talks at school… but I didn’t get the chance to be open to sexuality when I was young (teenagers). Having a sexual life as a teenager wasn’t common or something normal. practicing sex before marriage is a disgrace to society, so people can easily imagine how difficult it is to deal with it.

I have to admit I was sexually curious, and I wanted to know… I did get the chance to know things over the internet, and my mom once gave me a book. She couldn’t talk to me about it so she gave me a book. But books and the internet aren’t enough for general knowledge, there are more to learn and be aware of. There are a lot of questions I was never aware of asking.

Questions and things I wasn’t aware of years ago:

  • I never knew how painful sex is for the first time and the reasons why it’s painful and why it isn’t.
  • I didn’t really understand what is the after pill
  • Fingering isn’t usually enough for the hymen to break, neither are tampons (Women in the arab society don’t use tampons).
  • Anal Sex and Oral Sex can carry STDs
  • coming outside can’t guarantee not getting pregnant, there’s something called pre-cum.
  • a second time and a third time of sexual intercourse can be equally painful and can cause vaginal bleeding

and there are many more questions and I think I will have to learn more. You’ll probably laugh at me for not knowing all of these before. But I wasn’t really raised in a society that was open to sexuality. And having a sexual life isn’t something normal outside of marriage.

Our society must change, and even if we don’t practice sex in our daily lives, they should educate us about sexuality in a younger age, the age of 9 or so. Because we need that education, we need to know, we can’t be ignorant and stupid all the time. Sex will come to our lives, before or after marriage, and no one can stop that. And we must be safe in order to practice safe sex.

Sexual education is essential for all societies, for sexuality is connected to health and  being sexually educated is essential, for every age.

 

Ready for sex

Being an Arab in an extremely conservative society does not allow you (woman) to think about being ready for sex. If you want to live peacefully with society you have to be ready for sex only when you’re married. Otherwise life would be a challenging matter to deal with.

But when you’re reading to go against society an live your life the way you choose, believe it or not, being an Arab girl and NOT being a virgin isn’t something new, a lot of girls now a days experience sex, surely one has to be sure and safe. I know a lot of girls asking when it’s the time to be ready to experience sex outside of the marriage frame. A lot of people would give the following advice:

1- love, make sure your partner loves you

2- Trust and only trust. Without trust you shouldn’t yield to anything

3- when there’s a  foundation of a relationship.

I personally believe that there’s no rules, you can pick a perfect moment for you to experience sex. And even if you make mistakes, you can eventually learn from them, and learn who you are. There are no rules, but you have to be careful and know that you are doing it for yourself, not for the sake of others and the situation of “it should be done”. No, it shouldn’t be done. Sex isn’t on a checklist. sex isn’t kissing. Sex is a big deal.

Still, I do believe that one should have the 3 basic elements when having sex, at least it won’t be complicated afterwards, and you can talk about it and experience it again, it won’t be painful and it would be enjoyable. But why would you listen to me, I don’t know what I’m talking about…

Being a virgin

It is always a big deal to be a virgin or not, it’s always a big deal to have your first sexual intercourse. Surely I’m talking about being a woman and sexuality. In the western societies being a virgin is a choice made by women who want to wait for “the perfect guy”, or until they reach an age they feel more responsible to have sex. If a woman is a virgin, she’s a prude, and if she isn’t, then she’s either Okay, or by some people, a slut, much depends.

Being an Arab, if you’re a virgin, you’re perfectly fine and virtuous. If you’re not a virgin, not only you’re a slut, but also a disgrace to your family, town, race and self. If you don’t get married, you have to die an old tragic spinster. In the old times, before the 20th century, from the novels I read, an unmarried woman cannot have sex before marriage, otherwise she will ruin her reputation. But still, that’s not the end of the world, she can rebuild her life and at least live. In the Arab society, now a days, if a woman ruins her reputation by fornication, she has to be punished and sometimes even killed, mostly by her family. Surely it’s not always the case there. There are places in the Arab world, where a woman can make her own choices, and can be careful and do things her way, but she has to take responsibilities.
Where I live, I know a lot of unmarried girls having sex, some of them have sex with their beloved, others with their friends and so on and on. Some care about their reputations, others don’t. Some are isolated from their family and friends, some aren’t. It happens.

Having sex for the majority of women in the Arab world is a big deal and it can’t just happen for the sake of pleasure. At least for me. I want to have sex with the man I love, but I have to be careful and know how to deal with it and the consequences. I have to know how to keep the secret (surely I’m writing here where everyone can see, but do you really know who I am?).

Being a virgin is something beautiful and virtuous, there’s nothing wrong with it and if it’s your choice I say go for it. Having sex for the sake of your self, is something more beautiful, but it’s dangerous, and needs a lot of responsibilities. Simply know how to do it. Know when to do it, and of course, with whom.

 

Growing up to be a woman? or a man?

When I was young I was concerned about my gender. I was a kid who can be very far away from feminine. I remember disguising as a boy every now and then. I know a lot of girls had this habit when they were young, we used to be tomboys. For some reason, now a days, a lot of guys find it sexy that a girl “was a tomboy when she was young”. Actually, come to think of it there were a lot of tom boy girls. Except where I lived and had my childhood. In my childhood, girls didn’t really have the chance to be that much of a tom boy, most families don’t allow it. Girls shouldn’t play with boy’s toys and should start their education into becoming young women who are ready to get married, right?

I used to play with the boys in the neighborhood and I used to enjoy playing football/soccer. I basically wanted to be a boy and be treated like a boy to play and get a chance to be a boy. at one point I actually wanted to be a boy, I desperately wanted to have a penis, I had a hope and a dream that one day I’ll wake up to have a penis growing from my vagina and my parents to be shocked how it was hidden for so many years. Of course I was 9, and I wasn’t well educated with sexuality and gender.

I might have stayed a tomboy, but somehow I grew up to accept that I am a feminine young lady, and even I grew up loving the fact that I am an attractive woman. I don’t know if I was influenced to drop my tomboyish childhood and become a young woman, or is it that I naturally accepted my femininity and started to love it by myself. I know a lot of women, do not stop being the tomboy they were when they were young, and sometimes I envy them.

When I started going to college, I met this girl, she used to wear boys clothes, and I used to admire that and envy her, “how lucky she is. She doesn’t care what people say about her clothes.” So basically I always cared that people used to give me awful comments about being a tomboy and dressing like one, and I wish I haven’t, even though now I’m glad I look feminine. It’s tricky, the whole business of gender, right?

Since I “grow out of” being a tomboy, or becoming a boy, I didn’t understand the whole “gender dysphoria”. I always thought that people should “grow out of” becoming someone they’re not and accept their gender and body the way it is. And I didn’t quite like the idea of transsexualism. Why would I want to become a boy if I was born to be a woman? Instead of going through the whole process of becoming a man I should go to a whole process of being the woman I ought to be, and follow my natural role, not in society but nature. But of course, then I will have to accept the fact that there’s not such a thing as homosexuality, while I believe that homosexuality is a normal condition of a human being drawn to the same gender.

I’m very glad I grew up to realize that “gender dysphoria” is an issue that I should consider and not judge so rapidly. And those people who want to be transsexual, simply cannot live with their own gender and sexual identity. And now only do I have to accept that and understand it but to actually believe that it is a healthy process and should never be overlooked, but rather introduced as an alternative to teenagers and others around the world. Not only to encourage people to be themselves, but also the people they desire to be.

“It’s so disgusting…” is it?

Sometimes I find myself talking to the wrong people (girls) about sexuality and relationships. I know I should take my time to get to know the people first, before I start talking to them about these kind of topics, but I can’t help it when I find myself talking about what I think and feel.

It’s not so easy to talk easily about my view on sexuality. I tend to have a light point of view that approves of anything that can be extraordinary. And I always approve of one’s own choice to do and be whomever one can be. I find sexuality a topic that should be discussed with open-mindedness and let it be easily flowing. I don’t have to say that I would try anything with sexuality (I’m straight and I don’t want to try anal sex, nor oral sex for that matter, at least for now), but I would approve of listening to anything and wouldn’t judge the way people like to live their life. I mean, yes, I find few things to be stupid, but that’s not my job to judge and say “Eyw, that’s just disgusting, these women are disgusting!”

I once talked to a friend, who said that “friends with benefits is disgusting and women who do it are sluts!” I can see nothing wrong with being a slut and nothing wrong with friends with benefits, even though I wouldn’t want to be like that. From some personal experience I find it dangerous and irresponsible to be a friend with someone and do sex at the same time, because I didn’t like it, but I don’t care what other people think and do, that’s their life. Everyone’s sex life is their life and it should be private, unless one wants opinion or help.

I have other situation of most people in our society: some of them find gays and lesbians to be absolutely disgusting. Why would they say that, about people who are being themselves? gays and lesbians (and bisexual and transsexual) are just normal people who want to be themselves with the people they choose to be with, and I have no idea what’s so bizarre (or disgusting) about that.

But yes, there are things that disgust me: When a guy lies just to get laid. I think that’s immature and lame.