Dating is not easy, let alone having a good relationship.
I’m a single woman in my late 20s, (I started this blog when I was in my early twenties), time flies, and as we grow up, we repeat the same experience, look at it differently and come out with the same conclusion.
I’m still single, and I’m finding difficulties understanding why. I look around me and find out that there are two reasons I’m single:
1- I hardly fall for anyone. 2- When I like a guy he’s always not good for me.
So this got me thinking about relationships and the beginning of every relationship and how any relationship can work out. I ended up with four main elements that I think are crucial for any relationships. Two of them are somehow superficial, and the other two are essential. Those elements come with forms of questions:
1- Do you find the person good looking?
This is a very superficial question, but some how I can’t be with someone I don’t find attractive in terms of appearances. I’m not looking for a gorgeous hot man, I’m merely looking for a man I can look at and think “he’s cute.” Even when other people think that the person I’m seeing is not that cute, at least for me, I want to look at his picture, pr face and think that I like that person, not that I’m only trying to like that person.
2- Do you like the way that person walks and talks?
Physical appearances are one thing, but charisma is another. Some men aren’t good looking but you can easily be attracted to their persona,not personality in particular, but the way they act, talk, sit, walk, etc. Sometimes men can look so gorgeous on their Facebook profile picture, but once you hear them talk you’re immediately turned off.
3- Do you have a good chemistry with that person?
In other words, can you be good friends? do you have awkward silences or do you click? Do you enjoy their company? Do you connect well? All of this is important to be in a good relationship with someone, and be content with what you have.
4- Is that person good for you?
This is somehow the most important question. Is that person treating you well? is he a good person around you? Is he a good match for you? Will he be good for your future (together or just your future)?
For example, I once had the first three elements: I was seeing a guy that was gorgeous, I was attracted to everything in him, and we somehow clicked, but he was horrible for me.
I once met a guy that I didn’t particularly like his looks, not the way he acted, I didn’t find him attractive in looks or personality, but we had a good chemistry and somehow I thought he could be good for me. After a week I realized I couldn’t date him, I was just not into him.
I once met a guy with all of the elements, but he wasn’t available:
I thought he was nice looking, I was very attracted to the way he talked, walked and all, we had a great connection, and he was amazing to me, and somehow we could have a great future, but, he was taken, and there was no room for me. Therefore, nothing happened.
For this I need to add another element: 5- Timing. Is the time right?
But then again, in relationships, things aren’t always so simple. Nothing is perfect, and we end up meeting the wrong kind of people, and we can manage to make them work. Sometimes we’re not attracted to a certain person, but once we give them a chance, we can’t keep our minds away from them. Sometimes, everything is perfect and nice, but we end up doubting the whole relationship and falling for something less perfect.
When it comes to the matters of the heart, there are no fucking rules, and we have to live with that.