Cheating

I’m back to talk about cheating.

We all cheat. We cheat during exams, we cheat during playing video games (at least I did when I was a kid), but do we all cheat when it comes to relationships?

We all lie. We lie to our parents, teachers, bosses, and even our friends and partners. We lie about our weight, our cosmetics, hair color, and we even lie about our sex habits.

But when it comes to cheating on our partners, why is it a deal breaker?

I’ve never been in a real relationship to cheat on my partner. I’ve never truly had someone to cheat on. And if I do, and I turn even close to cheating I’d be very much ashamed to myself.

I’ve known many men who cheat, and from the impression they give, they don’t feel ashamed at all. They consider cheating as a “white lie”, like a natural thing they’d do because they have no option, or because that’s how they define themselves. When they admit that they’re cheating, they don’t show any guilt or any shame. They simply make it appear like it’s a habit that most men do.

I’ve heard of many women who cheat, but I’ve never met one. I know that men are driven by testosterone that makes it impossible for them to avoid thinking about sex with a certain person they see or meet. Many men in committed relationships would still go crazy over restraining themselves from cheating.

And many other men who lack no sense of manhood, are exposed to all temptations and would still not cheat, they restrain themselves and remain committed to their spouses. No natter what happens, they know cheating is immoral. They know that they would never forgive themselves if they cheat, and they mostly know that if they cheat they’ll regret it because it means nothing, it added nothing to their manly-hood and it would be just a mistake that means nothing to even think about.

Other men would never ever resist temptation. They yield to it like a goddess to be worshiped. “It’s me.” they say, “it’s who I am.” As if it’s something they were born with. They can say they love their partner, and they would never break up with them. Some of them fear that break up, but would never ever stop that nasty habit of cheating. They’re not designed to be faithful.And when they confess to anyone that they cheat, they would never make it as a big deal. “So, I was cheating on my wife and she left me.” translates to “So yeah what if I was cheating on wife? why does she have to leave me? What did I do wrong?”

I try to be open minded about sex, but when it comes to cheating, I would never forgive the guy for cheating on me. I would never accept, forgive and forget these kind of lies. I had a similar situation, though I was never in a serious relationship, but I can feel how painful it is to be cheated upon. To give all of your trust to someone, and that person simply takes all of your trust and spend it on cheap sex/love. That simply breaks your heart.

And where can someone hide when cheating? If I ever cheat, I would never be able to show my face to the person I hurt.

Sex and blogging

I started this blog to talk about women, men, sexuality, dating and love. I was trying to be the Arab Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City). I wanted to write and explore through my writing.

I opened this blog in March 2011 (read my first post) and I wanted to continue writing and see where I can go with that. I had to use a different name than my own to write freely about sexuality. Many people would call me a coward for doing so, but I felt much more at ease knowing that no one from my family can see this blog and immediately judge me. I didn’t want my uptight aunt finding out I write in a sex blog and then have her talk to my parents about it, and then having to hear lots of scolding from my parents.

When I started this blog, 5 years ago, I was in my early twenties, and now I’m in my late twenties, but I come from a conservative society that doesn’t really let you behave freely when it comes to sex.

I usually end up telling some people about my identity when it comes to this blog, but that only happens in occasions where I have to meet the person, or if I can trust them. Sometimes my identity doesn’t really matter, and it becomes a non issue.

Sometimes I receive messages on the comments from men asking me to have sex with them, and it makes me feel unease, because this blog is not an invitation for casual sex, it’s a place for me to share my thoughts about sex. But men in general look for sex on the internet without even reading. I don’t have to judge them further in this matter.

I once had my blog linked to my Tinder account. And that is usually a conversation starter. It’s nice that some men who are on Tinder find my writing interesting and are intrigued to talk to me. I don’t mind talking to men about sexuality, but I hope they don’t see it as an open invitation for casual sex.

The sex topic is taboo in many societies including mine. Though I don’t mind talking about it, I still consider my self a prude. But that’s a personal choice.

 

Only Fuckable

Maybe this is just another pathetic and sad entry about how no one likes me.
I’m an average girl. I’m not too young, yet not too old. I’m still in my twenties, but why do I have to reach the age of thirty to think that I’m such a pathetic loser who’s now too old and tired of this dating game?
Many women my age find a husband in a second. Most of my high school friends are married. Hell, one of the main reasons I don’t have many friends is because most of my friends are now married, or a in a very good relationship, to hang out with me. Married people don’t find time for anyone. They have the time for everything, but they only want to do it with their spouse and the in-laws.
I’m not actually looking to get married. It’s definitely not my mission in life. But I do want a relationship: Long or short, successful or not, I want someone to love me.
Not just anyone. I’m not being too picky, but at least there should be basic attractions and further admiration. I can’t be involved with someone I feel nothing to, I think that’s harsh.
But every guy I “kind of” like ends up being an asshole: interested only in fucking me and walking away. They make up this crap of being attracted to my personality also, but they’re not in a place where they can actually date or have a relationship.
That’s just bullshit. Some of them end up being married a year later to some random average girl, who’s so different than me.
It happens every time I feel attraction to a guy. I like him, we go out, we laugh we share some fun and nice moments, we find things in common, we might kiss, or not, that depends, and that’s it. Either we have sleep together and that’s it, or we just stop seeing each other. Why? Why does it have to be this way? What is it about me that screams “only fuckable”?

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t pretty or attractive. So I can work more on my personality and when feeling bad about not being admired or liked, I’ll just blame it on my looks. “Is it because I’m ugly/fat?” Is easier than “what the fuck is wrong with me?”.

I come with a package, like everyone else. Why does my package stays with me and I have to tolerate the fact that no one actually wants to be with or my package? They all want me, so badly. But no one wants to be with me. And that’s the nature about being alone. That’s how lonesome can make you a looney.

Few years ago when I honestly liked a guy, he said to his friend “men would kill for her body, including me. Her face isn’t that bad. But it all boils down to personality.”

It’s the personality that hasn’t changed.
And it kills me.

Purely sexual

So, it’s just a random day at work. Trying to figure out what I’m doing exactly. This job is not for me, but does it matter? I’m getting paid anyway. And it will be fine. If I lose this job I’ll go on finding another one. It will be fine.

I never spoke about my career, work or any job I had on this blog. And I won’t. I will only say that I’m currently working at an office. Doing a job that is not for me , nor something I want to pursue as a career in the future.

And there is a guy at work. He’s not that good looking, or attractive, or anything special. He’s just a guy. He and I are different, we have different life styles and we hardly have anything in common. Sometimes I get bored at the office and talk to him. He’s nice and friendly. And then… I meet his dirty side. He wears a cross around his neck, he has a tattoo that says something for Jesus. He’s a Jesus freak, and I’m an atheist. But he’s dirty too… how come someone as devoted to Jesus can have a very dirty mind and too much sexuality to share?

But you see, that’s the thing, because he’s very sexual, and dirty, I want to be sexual and dirty with him. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s all.

I want him purely sexual, I just want to sleep with him and that’s it. It feels weird to have these feelings. I know that when it comes to sex I always imagine love, true love, and more attraction and passion. But apparently that never works out for me. So maybe, for a change I should enjoy my sexuality more and do things more purely… sexual.

Thing is, with  this guy, I don’t want to get to know him, date him or even have feelings for. I don’t want him to have feelings for me. I just want him to satisfy me sexually.

Basically, the best way to behave to a man is to make love to him if you don’t fancy him and to another if you do. This is safe, no attachment, no getting hurt and just pure sex. At least you can keep doing that until you find the right love, and make real love.

So, yeah… this feeling is weird and new for me. To only want the guy sexually. But it’s empowering. It makes me feel in control, and that I can just own him. Not really own him, because he’s not mine, but there are that time, I can just use him and enjoy him. And the best part is, he knows, he knows exactly what I think, what I want and what I need.

Main worries about this situation: 1. I don’t want anyone at work to find out, it will just cause problems, for both of us. 2. The idea that even though he had slept with hundreds of women, that doesn’t make him good in bed. I haven’t yet slept with him, but we tried some stuff, and I wasn’t impressed. How important that part can be? 3. Will he still respect me after all that?

Most Women Fake Orgasms because Most Men Fake Foreplay. ~ Bella Bliss

I found this article and felt the need to save it and share it here on this blog.

Most women fake orgasms because most men fake foreplay. It’s supposed to be a joke, but it’s also kind of true.

I don’t remember ever having faked an orgasm in my life, honestly. For many years I just didn’t have orgasms with lovers, but somehow it never occurred to me to fake it. However, I am realizing lately how common it is for women to fake orgasms.

Quite a few of my female clients tell me they fake it because they feel so dissatisfied sexually and just want to get it over with. This happens for many different reasons related to lack of contact with their sexual energy, low libido, insecurity, lack of connection to the body, relationship issues and not enough foreplay.

Considering our global average for total sexual intercourse time of roughly four minutes, it’s safe to say that most couples don’t spend much time on foreplay. This can be an issue since, according to Tantric principles, a woman’s body needs much more time to fully awaken and reach states of ecstasy and true orgasm. I usually recommend at least 30 minutes of foreplay, preferably more.

If you don’t believe that women fake orgasms, or that there’s a remote possibility you’ve ever been with a woman who faked orgasm, see the video clip below for Meg Ryan’s spectacular and convincing fake orgasm. Ahem, so that’s settled then.

Even when they are having orgasms, many female clients I meet only experience short, superficial clitoral orgasms, leaving them feeling exhausted and depleted afterwards. Very few women experience deeper internal orgasms, or the feeling of dissolving into orgasmic bliss or expanding into ecstasy that is actually part of every woman’s sexual potential.

A friend of mine was taught in high school sex education that 90% of women cannot have internal orgasms, so she didn’t bother even trying to have anything but clitoral orgasms. My own sex education in Australia in the 90s basically consisted of putting a condom on a banana. This kind of disempowering, bogus “sex education” makes me annoyed.

Why not teach women that their body can be a wonderland of ecstatic bliss if they’ll only devote the time and energy to discovering its secrets? Why not teach men that they can have whole body non-ejaculatory orgasms? Why not teach all teenagers that sex can be sacred, profound, loving and deeply transforming when done consciously?

Most of us are never taught that there are more than 50 different kinds of female orgasm. The clitoris is just one tiny, little aspect of female sexuality. The real gold lies buried deeper in the Yoniverse (vagina)—the G-spot, the A-spot and the cervix are all important places to get to know better.

Then there’s also whole body energetic orgasm, orgasm from nipple stimulation, vaginal canal orgasms, orgasms that come from your lover kissing your labia, the list goes on. Women usually need long, slow foreplay to experience these kinds of orgasms. Men need long foreplay too, to build the sexual energy gradually so they can last longer, connect deeper to their partner and develop higher sensitivity.

Read the rest of the article here

Why do we need male prostitutes?

Most men I meet nowadays express their complete refusal to relationships and commitments. And they have the right to. It’s their life and it’s their needs.

Most men I meet nowadays want to have sex. They love to fuck. That is a fact and you can’t ask for different things.

While too many girls love to fuck too I’m not one of them. Yes, I want to have sex, but not just sex. Not because of society, but because of me.

1. I can’t have sex without feelings.

2. feelings aren’t just lust.

3. I’m not talking about feelings of complete love.

4. When I like a guy I get a bit attached.

5. I don’t do open relationships. I think that’s bullshit.

So, basically, I’m a classic when it comes to love. I want to meet a nice guy, go out with him, date him, make out with him, sleep with him and just have the foundation of a healthy relationship. Is it too much to ask?

Apparently it is. Most men want me to accept the fact that they don’t want a relationship, and they can’t accept the fact that what I’m looking for is real. Most of them believe that I’m just doing what society tells me to do.

Again, it’s not about society. I’m a sensitive person and I get attached. Once I like someone I would want to be together with that person.

If I want to have casual sex I can do that. There’s nothing more easier than that. I can just go to a bar, any random bar, look for the handsomest/cutest/hottest guy, approach him, ask for casual sex, and if he’s heterosexual and available there is 95% chance of having sex with him right away. I’m a girl and I’m hot, there’s no need for more when it comes to casual sex, right?

I don’t do that. When I want to have sex, it’s not casual for me, it’s special. Sex should be special, otherwise we can all do it, anytime, any day with anyone. This is what’s happening to our world, we no longer know what love is. We lost sense of love and being special and unique. We only care about casual sex, partying, money and fun. If that what’s happening to the world, then I don’t want to part of it.

I take things seriously. And I’m pretty sure that there are some who do too still.

However. We can still have casual sex, if we want to. I can’t always be against that, even though it’s not me. (can you sense the hypocrisy in my words?)

That’s why I strongly believe that when heterosexual women want to have casual sex they should go to male prostitutes (and if they are bisexual or want to try new things then female prostitutes are also an option). That’s what I would be doing if I want to have casual sex. Just to fulfill my sexual fantasies and be satisfied in bed. After all, that’s what we want in sex. And it’s a known fact that all men know how to fuck and only few know how to please. Read this here. So, to avoid trouble and avoid that all bullshit and the drama of “He’s hot, but maybe he won’t respect me. What if I fall for him. What if he’s bad. What if…” women can simply just go to male prostitutes. Pay money and it’s all done. Respect or not, you just paid money. And you paid money, you own him and you own his moves. By paying money, his job is to serve you a good orgasm, and please you. You gave him money, respect or not, does it matter? As for the sexual preference of the prostitute, does it matter? it’s just a momentary thing.

I believe that’s healthy, and if we’re talking about equal rights, why men can go to prostitutes and women can’t? We might not have the same needs but we’re all human.

Male prostitutes are handsome, sexy, very good in bed, and they can be smart too (they chose prostitution as a career). What’s the big deal?

Anyway, it’s just an opinion. After all, I’m not going to do that. I don’t have casual sex. Maybe I’ll just be a pimp.

What do I know?

So, I opened this blog around 3 years ago, and back then I had no idea what I’m talking about. I was in my early twenties and I thought about sex as I saw it, not as I knew it. I wrote anything that occurred to my mind, I had no idea that my mind wasn’t aware of what’s going on.

I wrote and rambled as much as I wanted, because for me, writing is better than holding thoughts within. I like writing and letting go of thought pressure. I know this doesn’t sound logical, but I wrote about sex without knowing much about it. I was young, inexperienced and ready for adventures.

At some point, a man came to me and asked me if I can write in a sex magazine. At that point I had no idea what to do. I thought to myself, what should I write about, they’re all probably so experienced that I will just make a fool out of myself. I contributed to the magazine and I can’t tell if I did a good job back then, but I wrote what I felt, what I knew and what I wanted.

After a while I was encouraged by the same man who asked me to contribute in the sex magazine to start my own magazine/site/blog about sex, and there I had to be frank with him that I didn’t have enough experience to actually talk about sex like he thought I should. He said that doesn’t matter, as long as what I say is honest and comes fro my own self and experience, and besides, why should one be experienced to talk about a certain field? He said that a virgin can have as much to say as a prostitute – and that worked fine.

I’m still not a professional, and after all these years of more experience, discussions, and ramblings, I can write anything.

It has been a year and a half since I opened Kiss Kaleidos, and even though it’s not as popular or as successful, I feel proud of myself that I opened it anyway.